Undercover Missons and Hidden Problems
by HannaK108
Summary: <html><head></head>Undercover missions were never easy for Juliet but when Shawn Spencer gets thrown into the mix, things go south real fast. This fic will contain a lot of Shules, Jealous!Shawn, some fluff, some angst, some anger, some Lassie AND a plot!</html>
1. Prologue

**A/N: Lo and behold my attempt to write a story with a plot. I know, I am scared as well. As always, infinite thanks to my beta and the yin to my yang, Elize34. Oh and I probably should mention that in this fic, the relationship between Shawn and Juliet is still very much a secret, not even good old Lassie has found out yet. Oh and another thing, English still isn't my first language so I apologize for the grammar mistakes in advance.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Psych. I do however own a very cute stuffed animal that I named 'Bear' at the age of 3 but I guess that isn't really relevant to anything at this point.**

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><p><strong><strong>Chapter 1: <strong>**(**_**Prologue**_**)**  
><strong>

It was 5.30 am in Santa Barbera and the rising sun was shining bleakly when the doors of the main entrance of the Santa Barbera Police Department were thrown open and a couple came walking through.

One of them a young blond female detective named Juliet o'Hara although the few people outside would have had a hard time recognizing her as such. The heavily-applied make-up around her eyes was smudged and her lips were a bright colour of red. Furthermore, she was wearing flaming red high heels and a black skirt which most people would consider to be too short and, well, indecent. The rest of her body was covered in a navy-blue sweater which was way oversized for her and probably belonged to the man walking next to her. The man next to her so happened to be Shawn Spencer, a snarky (fake)psychic with remarkably good hair. However today his hair was messy and ruffled as if he had run his fingers through it numerous times that day.

Both looked like they hadn't had a proper night's sleep in days. There also was an unusual silence between them and every time Shawn opened his mouth to say something, one look from Juliet convinced him not to.

When they reached Juliet's car, she opened the door and gave Shawn a questioning look when he didn't do the same and remained standing motionless on the pavement.

"Are you sure I won't mess up your perfect little life when I get into this car? Since I recall you saying I have a way of doing that." Shawn said, almost spitting out the words. His voice lacked any warmth and his normally so playful tone was replaced with an unfamiliar harshness that made Juliet cringe. "Just get in the damn car Shawn." she said in a flat tone, only the way how she hissed his name betraying how angry she was.

Shawn hesitated one more second before getting into the car and using just a little bit too much force to close the door. He hadn't even fastened his seatbelt yet when Juliet began driving away, almost exceeding the speed limit.

"I'll drop you off at your apartment, okay?" Juliet said after a little while in the same flat tone. Shawn just nodded and ran his fingers through his hair for what seemed the millionth time that day. He looked at Juliet and noticed how her hands were gripping the steering wheel just a bit too tightly and how her smudged eyes were fixed on the road and never wandered for one second.

He closed his eyes, hoping the tiredness would slow down his over-active mind which he really resented right that moment. He was having no such luck though and from the moment he closed his eyes, the memories of the past month came washing over him and he was simply too exhausted to try to stop them...

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><p><strong>AN: Short, me knows, but it is only a prologue after all. I really hope it did what a prologue is meant to do, which is getting you interested in the story. Right under this is a nice little button which is called 'review.' It would be pretty darn epic if you would, like, click it and, I dunno, tell me if the prologue did its job. Pretty please? Much appreciated!**


	2. Calm before the Storm

**A/N****: Took me a bit longer than planned but here it is, chapter 1. To quote the infamous Rebecca Black: **_**'We, we, we, so excited.' **_**At any rate, I hope you enjoy this chapter tremendously more than the song.**

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><p><em>- 4 weeks earlier - <em>

"o'Hara, can you come into my office in a minute?" the Chief asked.

Juliet, who had been busy ignoring Shawn sitting on the corner of her desk for the past fifteen minutes, looked up from her paperwork and said "Sure Chief, I'll be right there."

Shawn on his part, was getting more and more impatient with every fruitless attempt to get Juliet's attention. He then decided it was time for a more...direct approach and placed his elbows on the surface of her desk, lowering his head until it was on the same level as Juliet's.

Shawn pouted his lips and after sighing once deeply said: "Juuules...?"

"What is it Shawn?" Juliet said, without looking up from her work.

"You still haven't answered my question." Shawn said, sounding slightly annoyed with his secret girlfriend's lack of attention.

Juliet looked up and was surprised to find Shawn's face only twelve inches away from hers. He was still doing his best to remain looking annoyed but when Juliet looked into his eyes, a smile immediately appeared on his face.

"You asked me a question?" Juliet asked confused. "I did three times already Jules, but you were clearly too busy with ignoring me." He said while putting on his best 'sad puppy face.' Juliet chuckled when she saw his changed expression "Aww Shawn, don't look so sad, you know I can't stand it. This is exactly how you convinced me to make you pancakes last night."

"But they were yummy though, right Jules?"

"Shawn, it was 2 am in the morning!"

"I couldn't help it, you know how hungry I get after exercising." Shawn said and laughed when he saw that she finally understood what he meant with 'exercising.'

"Really Shawn, exercising, that's what you call what we did last night?"

"It was at least as exhausting as exercising yes and if I remember correctly, you have quite the stamina Jules." Shawn said playfully and grinned when he saw Juliet flushing a faint colour of red.

They were silent for a little while, both recalling some of the events from last night. Shawn was the first one to speak again: "What were we talking about again? Oh right! My question, I was wondering if you wanted to come over tonight and this time...- he paused a second for the dramatic effect - you get to pick the movie."

Juliet got up from behind her desk and said: "Wow...I get to pick the movie? How could I resist such an offer? I'll be at your place around 8 okay?"

"It's a date!" Shawn exclaimed happily, getting up from Juliet's desk as well.

Juliet smiled and brushed her hand against his for just a second before walking into the Chief's office.

Shawn (obviously) followed her through the door but was stopped halfway by the Chief herself: "We won't be needing your serviced today, Mr. Spencer."  
>Shawn's smile disappeared: "Really Chief? You are shutting me out? I am so hurt."<p>

As an answer, the Chief walked into her office and closed the door, leaving Shawn standing on the other end.

Shawn wasn't one to give up that easily however and ran over to the window of the office and began squinting through the blinds. He soon noticed that the Chief and Juliet weren't the only ones in the office, a man was present there as well. He couldn't be more than 35 years old, had short black hair and was dressed smart-casual. Shawn suddenly saw Juliet coming into his view and saw how she ran over to the mysterious man and how she hugged him tightly. "Who the hell is that guy?" Shawn muttered to himself, annoyed that he only had such a limited sight of the situation in the office. He turned his attention to the room again but found himself staring directly into the eyes of the Chief who simply shut the blinds with a disapproving look.

"You know who that guy is Spencer?" a voice behind him said, causing Shawn to jump slightly. He quickly regained his composure and turned around, saying: "Wow there Lassie, you actually almost scared me there for a second and to think I hadn't even seen your hair yet!"

"Very funny Spencer, now, you know who that man is or not?" Lassiter asked demandingly.

"I have a pretty good idea yes, though now I think about it...it seems rather unrealistic to expect that the Chief finally came through for me and is now hiring that man to be my very own pineapple smoothie bringer." Shawn said and, when he saw Carlton was losing interest and about to turned around again, quickly added: "But enough about my hopes and dreams, what is really interesting is that you, head detective Carlton Lassiter, are being kept out of the loop."

Shawn half expected Lassiter to walk away but instead, a grin appeared on his face: "You can try to make fun of me all you want Spencer, but, as usual, I know more than you since I know who that man is, or at least, what he used to be." Lassister said cryptically.

"Oh, I would thou speak'st clearer, oh wise old man!" Shawn said theatrically, upon which Lassiter's face turned sour once again and he replied matter-of-factly: "I have no intention what so ever to provide a civilian with information about matters he has no business knowing."

After his little speech Carlton instantly turned around and began making his way back to his desk.

"If you tell me, I promise I won't sing '_take on me'_ to you every time you walk into the station for at least a month!" Shawn shouted to the back of Lassiter, sounding slightly desperate. This made Lassister stop in his tracks. "Two months."

"Five weeks and three days it is." Shawn agreed. Carlton hesitated for two seconds before grunting something inaudible and walking over to Shawn again.

"Okay here's the deal, the guy's name is Peter Wilde and so happens to be Juliet's ex partner, back when she was working as a junior cop in Miami."

"So then what is Juliet's former partner doing here?" Shawn asked. Lassiter shrugged his shoulders: "Your guess is as good as mine."

Shawn ferverously shook his head: "That must be some terrible guesses if they were to be as bad as yours, Lassie-face."

Carlton opened his mouth to reply but right that moment the door of the Chief's office opened and Juliet, the Chief and the man called Peter came walking through. Shawn didn't waste any time walking to them and introducing himself to Peter: "Pleased to meet you...Peter isn't it? My name is Shawn Spencer, I am the resident psychic to the SBPD. So, what brings you here all the way from - he paused a moment for the tensions to build - sunny Miami, Florida?"

Before Peter could answer however, the Chief gestured him to keep walking and she said to Shawn: "Not now Mr. Spencer, we have important police matters to attend to." Juliet saw that Shawn was about to protest so she leaned a bit closer to him and said: "We'll talk later okay?" She looked at him intensely. "Uhm..sure Jules." Shawn mumbled, giving her a questioning look. Juliet smiled appreciatively and then followed the Chief and Peter to the exit of the station.

Shawn watched her until the last of her blond hair had disappeared around the corner. "What is going on here exactly?" Shawn muttered.

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><p><strong>AN:**** Interesting question indeed Shawn! If only there was someone out there who knows where this story is heading... (*insert evil laugh here*)**

**Anyways, reviews are like Shawn declaring he is thinking about getting a car: they both fill me with fluffy happiness!**


	3. So it begins or does it?

**A/N:**** I apologize for the slow update but over the weekend I had a massive break out of plotbunnies and I spent three days getting them all back into their cages. They were really running all over the place and it seems a few of them have made it into this story. As a result this chapter didn't turn out how I planned it to be. at all. So expect a long chapter with lot of fluff and almost no plot. Blame it on the plotbunnies. I know I do.**

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><p><span>Chapter 3:<span>

It was 8 pm and Shawn was impatiently walking around his appartment, getting more nervous by the second. He definitely didn't like it when he had not the slightest ide what was going on_._ He sighed, he was probably getting all worked up over nothing but couldn't help glancing at the clock for the sixth time in two minutes. Finally he heard the welcoming sound of someone knocking on the door and he hastily opened it with a large smile on his face. "There you are Jules!" He exclaimed relieved but his relief soon turned into confusion when he saw that she was still in her work clothes. "Wow Jules, you know I am liking this whole 'I am secretly dating a sort of co-worker' thing we have going on, but you don't have to wear your work outfit when we're on a date."

Juliet smiled faintly and replied: "I only just finished work half an hour ago, only went by my place to drop off my bag and grab a DVD because, you know, I wouldn't want to upset my favourite co-worker." Shawn chuckled but was too impatient to engage in their normal flirting habit: "But in all seriousness Jules, what is going on with you today? They way you said we needed to talk makes me a bit worried and all. Is this about how I borrowed your bathrobe without asking the last time I spent the night at your place?" He couldn't help but throwing in a joke in his question, but nervously awaited her answer.

"You borrowed my...wait, no it's not about that but honestly Shawn, I litterally just got off work and I am exhausted, couldn't we first maybe have something to eat, watch the movie and then talk?" Juliet asked and when she saw Shawn frowing she added: "And you know...during the movie we could maybe...snuggle?" She said the last word very temptingly, leaning just a little bit into him, knowing he could never resist it when she mentioned the word snuggeling. _\_

Shawn tried to object but the combination of the prospect of them curling up on the couch together with how he noticed how tired-looking she was, made him give in. "Hmm snuggeling sounds promising but first we need to take a look at the movie you brought. He gestured Juliet to sit down on the couch while he grabbed the DVD Juliet brought from her bag.

Juliet let out a relieved sigh, glad Shawn was letting the 'having to talk thing' go so easily. She curled up on the couch, letting her eyes rest for just a second. She had no idea how he was gonna react to it all but just being together with Shawn made everything seem less seriousalready. Opening her eyes, she laughed when she saw Shawn holding the DVD cover against the light and examining it closely.

"So, let's take a look at how your taste in movies has developed these last few weeks, shall we." Shawn said in a low, authorative voice. squinting at the DVD cover. "Hmm...Nightmare On Elm Street...not bad, not bad."

"Does this mean I got your approval Mr. Spencer?" Juliet said smilingly, playing along.

"Not only do you got my approval, I am almost concidering rewarding you with the very prestigous ' _move-picker_' title." Shawn said, loving how Juliet always knew just what to say to play along perfectly with all his little acts.

"Almost?" Juliet asked with a mock-confusion look upon her face. Shawn's face suddenly saddened and he sat down on the couch, next to Juliet, placing one hand on her knee while remeaning looking dead serious. "Well yes almost. You see there is a slight problem. I need to find you a new examinator since I'm afraid I can't remain objective during your final exam." He dramatically looked away and began staring into the distance, his face still serious but his eyes giving away his amusement.

"Yeah why is that?" Juliet asked interested upon which Shawn turned his head again to look into Juliet's eyes. Without thinking about it, Juliet leaned into him, Shawn doing the same so their lips were only a few centimeters apart.

" Hmm...let me think how to say this right." Shawn said, his humming causing his lips to touch hers ever so slightly. " You see, I sort of have a thing for the candidate, in fact, I find myself wanting to kiss her all the time."

Juliet let out a nervous chuckle "Is that right?"

" You have no idea." Shawn said almost breathlessly, brushing his lips slowly against hers, sending a shiver through Juliet's whole body.

Juliet pressed her lips against his, her tongue begging for entrance but Shawn was having none of it, causing Juliet to utter his name quietly in protest.

Shawn moved his lips away from hers and brought it to her left ear, whispering: "Patience Jules." the warm breath against her ear making her shiver all over once again.

A moan escaped Juliet when Shawn began to gently place kisses all the way down from her ear to her collarbone.

She lied down on the couch, Shawn automatically moving together with her so that his body was now hovering above hers. He brought his face to hers again and looked into her eyes. Right at that moment Shawn realized that he simply couldn't wait any longer and a second later Shawn's lips came crushing into hers.

Juliet gladly responded and wasted no time deepening the kiss and clutching his hair with her left hand, forcing Shawn down on the couch with her. She normally never responded so...vigorously but something about today and this kiss made her need Shawn even more. As they kissed she found herself focusing on Shawn and Shawn's lips only, forgetting all her worries and other thoughts. Eventually however the need to breathe became overwhelming and she reluctantly broke off the kiss.

"Wow Jules" Shawn said almost breathlessly. They had kissed before, but as far as he remembered never like _that_. As a response Juliet simply turned over to her side and tugged Shawn's shirt slightly, gesturing him to lie down next to her. He happily obliged and after a few seconds they both lied contently on the couch, Shawn having one of his arms around her waist. He absentmindedly thought about how glad he was he had bought an extra large couch last summer while slowly stroking Juliet's hair with the hand that was not currently wrapped around her waist. Juliet felt her entire body relax and her mind becoming quiet for the first time in hours. She just lied there, only focusing on the sound of Shawn's chest slowly rising and falling next to hers and before she knew it she drifted away...

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><p>Juliet woke up to the smell of something delicious, she just couldn't figure out what it was exactly. She groggily opened one eye, momentarily disorientated by the sunlight still shining through the windows. For a moment she wondered on whose couch she was lying, who wrapped a blanket around her and, most importantly, what was smelling so good.<p>

A warm feeling began to spread through her whole body the second she remembered where she was and she quietly sat upright on the couch and turned her head to look into the open kitchen. And indeed there he was, Shawn was standing in his kitchen wearing the most ridiculous apron Juliet had ever laid her eyes on. It was an intense color of purple and on it were little bright yellow pineapples with...wings attached to them. The finishing touch were the big gold letters printed across the apron that read '_Pineapple Chef_. Juliet couldn't help but chuckling, she couldn't even begin to imagine where on earth Shawn bought it. Anyone else but Shawn wearing it would have looked at least as ridiculous as the apron itself but Shawn actually managed to pull it off.

He was slicing up some pineapple while quietly humming some 80s tune that Juliet vaguely recognized and all of the sudden Juliet was sure she never loved him as much as she did right on that moment. Just the way he was standing there in his little kitchen, doing God knows was exactly, filled her with so much happiness it was scaring her a little.

Juliet sighed, she didn't know what was up with her today, being all dramatic-like. Or actually, she did know what was the cause, but she rather not think about it.

Deciding she need a distraction before her thoughts made her absolutely crazy, she cleared her throat, making Shawn look up and flashing her a brilliant smile: "Jules, you're awake!" He exclaimed enthusiastically. "I am making us some dinner, well, I was trying to but then I realized I didn't have all the ingredients needed to make oyster soup...plus, I don't really know how to make one." He added as a sort of afterthought.

"So, I settled on making us some pineapple toast instead. I know, I know, not a whole lot of choice her at _Chez Spencer _Jules, but I hope it's okay." He looked a bit sheepishly when she didn't reply. "Jules, is everything okay? If you want I could run down to the story or maybe order..."

"Oh no no, it sounds, and smells, great!" Juliet hastily replied slightly distracted, her eyes still fixed on Shawn. He smiled again, this time faintly and he resumed his former task of slicing up the pineapple while humming the same familiar 80s tune again.

"How long was I out?" Juliet asked after a little while, thinking Shawn was being uncharacteristically quiet.

"Ow, it wasn't that long, about 45 minutes. I was about to wake you up for dinner anyway." Shawn said. For the first time Juliet noticed how his jawline tightened after he had spoken, almost as if he had to stop himself from saying more. She knew from experience that this was a sign something was bothering him

Shawn in the meantime had put the toast on two separate plates and walked over to her, sitting down on the couch next to her. "Look Jules.." He began. Uh oh, there it was, Juliet thought.

"...I know you wanted to first watch a movie and everything but then you fell asleep and...", he hesitated for a second, "and I spent the last hour or so thinking about what the hell is going on with you today so for the sake of the last shred of sanity that I still have left, couldn't we maybe...talk now?" He smiled nervously at her.

"You're right Shawn, I shouldn't avoid having this conversation with you any longer." Juliet said after considering his little speech for a few second and she took a deep breath. "Okay, here's the deal..."

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><p><strong>AN:**** My goodness, it looks like there might actually be something which I like to call a plot development next chapter! **

**You know...it wouldn't do any harm if you maybe would be so kind to send a review to tell me the running around of the plotbunnies wasn't all bad. ****Only maybe though.**


	4. Talk Tonight

**A/N: Remind me to never ever start a multi-chapter fanfiction in the busiest month of the year school-wise ever again. Yes, this is my excuse for not updating sooner and I am sticking to it. **

**So, anyway, it's time to finally set sail to the sea of plot & angst...better hold on tight, it could get stormy out there!**

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><p><span>Chapter 3:<span>

"So here's the deal..."

Juliet knew she couldn't postpone saying it any longer. And maybe, just maybe she was making this whole thing a lot bigger than it was. She glanced at Shawn who smiled encouragingly at her when he saw her looking at him, making her smile faintly in return.

She cleared her throat: "Okay, so today I've officially been asked to take part in an undercover operation, which-" She couldn't continue however, because Shawn interrupted her: "Wow Jules, you should never scare me like that ever again, saying you need to talk and all, when it isn't a big deal. Really Jules, undercover missions are fun! I go on undercover missions almost every week. Hey, remember that time when we went undercover as a married couple? That was fun right? Though, I do remember you talking an awful lot..."

Juliet looked helplessly at Shawn while he enthusiastically went on and on about their fake marriage. Dammit, why did he have to make this so hard for her?

"Shawn!" She tried interrupting him, but he just kept going.

"...But then again the way you distracted them with your talk was one of the reasons-" Shawn meanwhile continued.

Juliet couldn't bear it any longer, the memories of their fake marriage only making the thing she was about to say even more painful.

"Shawn, I won't be able to see you for a month!" She frantically shouted out the words, anything to make him stop talking. This finally seemed to shut up Shawn because he fell silent mid-sentence. Juliet observed him closely, the enthusiastic expression on his face vanished completely, leaving him looking astonished and...hurt. She had no other way to describe it.

However, the hurt look was there for merely a second, two seconds maybe, before he was looking like his usual self again. "A month! Wow...that's lengthy. That's...a real amount of undercover time. So it must be something really cool if you're willing to leave your fun and loving boyfriend for so long. What are you gonna do? Oh wait, don't tell me, I already know. The circus! Tell me you're joining the circus Jules, that would be so awesome!"

He was rambling and he knew it, because somewhere deep inside he already knew it wouldn't be something as gleeful as joining a circus if Juliet's behavior this evening was any indication.

He expectedly looked at Juliet, half-hoping to hear her say that she was indeed joining the circus, but judging from the sad smile appearing on her face as she listened to him, he knew the feeling deep inside of him would be right.

"No Shawn, I'm afraid there'll be no circus involved. In fact, I've been asked to go undercover to help prove that Brandon Turner is using his nightclub as a cover for illegal drug transactions. Do you know who I am talking about?" she asked, feeling slightly relieved that at least now they were talking about it.

Shawn simply nodded. Of course he knew who she was talking about. Brandon Turner was a young, rich guy who owned one of the biggest and most popular nightclubs in the whole of Santa Barbera. The club had a... questionably reputation to say the least and he himself wasn't any better, being mostly known because of a video that circulated on the internet which showed him having a 'good time' with two famous models.

He noticed that Juliet was trying to gauge his reaction, fighting the urge to show her exactly what he was feeling, he swallowed. "Sounds like a pretty big deal, Jules. How exactly are you planning on accomplishing that?"

"Well, for one, I am not the only one who is going undercover. The guy you met at the station today, my former partner Peter, is a DEA agent now and we're going undercover together. He's actually the one who suggested me to his bosses to be part of the operation." Juliet said and Shawn didn't fail to notice the hint of pride in her voice.

Yet Shawn found himself not wanting to notice it. In fact, this was one of the rare moments on which he hated he noticed everything. Most of all, he hated how his eidetic memory registered every single word Juliet spoke. It registered Juliet saying that she and Peter would try to talk one of the biggest pieces of scum that Santa Barbera has to offer into agreeing on making a drug trade with them. It definitely registered Juliet explaining they would be undercover so deep that she wouldn't be able to see him and how she was telling him she could call him maybe once a day.

While Juliet was talking, a small voice in the back of Shawn's mind already relentlessly began listing things they wouldn't be able to do the coming month. No solving cases together, no surprise visits to the station to bring her lunch, no movie dates that somehow always ended up with Shawn spending the night at her place. Hell, he wouldn't even be able to spend time with her. He wouldn't be able to talk to her, joke with her, kiss her, touch her...

He realized Juliet had noticed how the forced smile on his face had begun to fade because half-way through her telling him how positively the Chief had reacted to Peter's request, she not-so-subtly switched to telling him it wasn't that big of deal. She told him the risks weren't that great, the operation was thoroughly prepared and a month wasn't that long. Plus Peter would be there all the time to make sure everything went according to plan.

"If Peter has everything so splendidly under control, what does he need you for?" He couldn't help asking upon which Juliet shifted uncomfortably on the couch.

Again Shawn cursed the fact that he noticed how she flinched ever so slightly, indicating she had been dreading hearing him ask that very question.

She nervously began fumbling with the top button of her blouse, not sure how to continue. She had to be very careful how she was about to say this, otherwise Shawn would get the wrong idea for sure. "The thing is", she hesitantly began, "that Peter has done a lot of research on Brandon and the kind of persons he deals with and that research shows that he's quicker to agree on making a deal when his thoughts aren't solely occupied with making that exact transaction"

Shawn almost wanted to give Juliet a nice cynic round of applause for trying to hide the true meaning behind her words so well. But of course he noticed the real meaning behind, he always noticed what people tried to hide, it's what he did best.

"Not solely occupied huh Jules, now what or who should distract him from that exactly?" He already knew the answer but he had to hear her say it.

"I am the distraction." She admitted, but upon seeing Shawn's look she added: "but it's not what you think Shawn, nothing will happen, I'll just give Brandon some attention, you know, so he is sidetracked, making it easier for Peter to get him to agree on a deal."

She looked at Shawn, waiting for him to say something but he just blankly stared at her. "Shawn...please say something."

"Sure I'll say something Jules, though it's more of a question really. What are you thinking?" He said, mentally giving himself a compliment for keeping his voice soft, steady and calm.

Juliet however, didn't seem to appreciate it since she did raise her voice, saying: "What I am thinking? I am thinking this would be a great career opportunity for me, I am thinking I can make Santa Barbara a safer place, I am thinking I can do this!"

And then all of the sudden he just...snapped: "Yeah, because we all know what a nice, clean track-record you have when it comes to undercover missions. Especially the way you always manage to never get too involved. You should definitely take this opportunity Jules, you are perfect for it."

The words were out before he knew it and Shawn regretted saying them instantly. Apart from Gus and his dad almost no one knew this side of him, his angry side. When he got angry, really angry, he didn't act childish or immature as most people would expect. No, he was cold, collected and...mean, particularly mean. He had worked really hard to keep that side from Juliet but the entire evening had made that nearly impossible for him and when she was talking about how this all was supposed to be a good thing, he just couldn't take it anymore and he simply snapped.

He didn't bear to look at her but he could tell she was upset from the way her breathing had become irregular. They both remained silent, all of the while Shawn didn't dare to look at anything but the ground. Juliet finally spoke: "Wow Shawn...I might have expected something like this from Lassiter, but from you?", her voice now surprisingly calm and soft.

Shawn finally dared to look at her, making him feel even worse than he did a few seconds ago. Juliet's eyes showed no emotion but the way her lip quivered slightly, gave away just how upset she was.

Shawn tried to think of anything, anything that would fix this, but for once no snarky, quick-witted remark came to mind. "Look Jules," he began anyway, "just forget about it okay? I have no business telling you what to do because, let's face it, half of the time I have no idea what I am doing myself."

Juliet looked at him, not sure how to react exactly. Part of her, the hurt part, wanted to show and tell Shawn exactly how much he had hurt her with that comment, but the rest of her just couldn't seem to bring up the energy. She told herself that Shawn was just worried about her and that he didn't mean it like that. Pushing away all the other thoughts that said otherwise, she smiled faintly at him. "It's okay Shawn, really, it's no big deal." She said, trying to make her voice sound confident.

Shawn sighed relieved, glad the worst part was over. Now all he had to do was guiding them to a safer topic, and everything would be well again. "All this difficult talk makes me crave some delicious flavor. How about we eat the pineapple toast I made you right about now?"

"Actually, I am not that hungry anymore and it's already getting late. I think I should get going." Juliet said apologetic, thinking about how she just wanted to go home and be alone for a while. "Getting late, it's not even 10 pm yet." Shawn said uneasily, beginning to feel like he might have underestimated the damage he had caused with his words.

"Yeah I know, but I am really tired plus I have to pack for the mission." She said while picking up her bag from the table. "Wait, what? Going to pack? When will the operation begin exactly?" He asked, shocked at her sudden announcement.

"Well, I have a meeting tomorrow morning to talk through the final details, but Peter will fully brief me in the afternoon, when we're getting settled into our cover-apartment."

Shawn was now literally too astounded to say anything, too many thoughts occupying his mind at the same time.

Juliet in the meantime had already opened the door, placed a small kiss on his cheek and said: "Don't worry about me Shawn, Peter will be there all the time to make sure nothing bad happens to me." And with that she walked through the door, Shawn coming back to reality just in time to see the last lock of her blond hair disappearing around the corner.

He absent-mindedly closed the door, Juliet's final words playing over and over again in his head. "_Peter will be there all the time_."

And that was exactly what Shawn didn't like.

At all.

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><p><strong>AN: Uh-oh, trouble in Shules' paradise. Let's just hope the writer knows what she is doing...**

**Maybe you could send her a review telling her that you trust she is going to give them a happy ending, or maybe tell her she didn't do that bad of a job on writing her first-ever angsty chapter? Or maybe you could tell her she should let school go to hell and update sooner? Or tell her that you enjoyed this chapter? Or maybe tell her that writing this author's note in the third person is a little bit creepy? Anything goes really, as long as you ****review****!**


	5. The rest is Silence

**A/N: So sorry for not updating sooner, but RL was being a bitch, like usual. I just really wanted to say thank you to those who reviewed, it's what keeps me writing. For real.**

**Also a big shout out to ****Elize34**** who is, like always, insanely supportive and the best beta anyone could wish for.**

**Oh, not sure if I should mention it, but I found it very difficult to write this chapter so I'm pretty unsure about it… Hope you enjoy anyway!**

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><p><span>Chapter 4: <span>

Shawn was lying in bed wide awake when he suddenly realized he had no idea how long he had been lying like that. All he remembered was falling asleep around midnight and waking up 3.5 hours later. Taking a deep breath he finally dared to look at the alarm clock. 6.02 am. 'Just perfect.' he thought sarcastically.

Sighing loudly he flipped over his pillow for the 21th time that night, knowing the number exactly because he had counted every single one.

About 4 minutes later he decided that the chance of him falling asleep were about as big as Lassie winning a hair contest and he got up from the bed and started to get dressed.

He rubbed his eyes while trying to find the shirt he had thrown down onto the floor the previous night. When he couldn't find it anywhere he angrily kicked against one of his shoes that was lying around, making it knock over a half-full can of soda standing on the nightstand which began dripping all over the floor.

"Great." he muttered darkly to himself, while he quickly turned the can upright again.

It had been 2 weeks, 6 days and 8 hours since he had last seen Juliet. To say he wasn't handling it too well would be an understatement.

15 hours after he had last seen her, she'd send him a text, saying she was now 'officially' undercover - whatever the hell that meant - and 7 hours after that, they had the first of their many phone conversations. He might actually enjoy those conversations if they weren't a constant painful reminder that he could only talk to her, not see her. However, the worst part was that Shawn only got to know that what Juliet wanted to tell him, which unfortunately wasn't much. For someone like him who made a living out of being always one step ahead of everyone that was the most frustrating part.

She told him very little about the case itself, only that they 'had made contact' and that they were 'making progress.' Apparently that meant staying up all night because Juliet mostly called around 8 am when she just got back from whatever the hell she was doing. Sometimes she called around 8 pm as well but those calls were always very short because then she was about to go prepare for another night of 'making progress'. She did tell him that the afternoons were reserved for updating Peter's superiors and writing reports about the developments of the previous night. Shawn had always been horrible at math, but even he could very easily count the few hours of sleep she was getting.

Not like he got a lot more during the night either. Being as energetic as Shawn was very exhausting and so he normally would get around 9 or 10 hours of sleep a night. Now he was lucky if he got 6. He had told his dad and Gus, who both had very soon noticed his change in sleep pattern, that he had no idea why he slept so little lately. Of course they both suspected or knew it had something to do with Juliet but Shawn just didn't want to tell them exactly how much it had to do with her.

The truth was that he worried about her. All the time. And especially during the night when he had nothing to distract him from thinking about her. Gus and his dad, who were still the only ones knowing Juliet and he were together, were also the ones who were suffering the most from Shawn's lack of sleep. For example, yesterday (or 2 weeks, 5 days and 14 hours after he had last seen Jules) he'd yelled at Gus for forgetting to bring him a pineapple from the store. He tried to let the whole Juliet thing not affect him and his behavior but how could it not?

He spent every waking second wondering what she was doing, how she was feeling, whether or not Peter was there with her, but most of all he wondered if she was _okay_ 107 hours after he'd last seen her, during her 5th phone call to him, he had for the first time seriously begun to doubt she was doing 'fine' like she always told him so firmly...

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><p><em>(2 weeks earlier...)<em>

He had been waiting for her to call him since 8 pm last evening. Now, 10 hours later, after a sleepless night, the call finally came and Shawn answered on the first ring:

"Jules?" He made her name sound like a question. "Shawn?" her voice sounded surprised as well, probably because she hadn't expect him to pick up so soon. Shawn let out a low chuckle which was mostly caused by the sheer happiness that he felt when he heard her voice: "Wow Jules, why so surprised? Do you already have trouble remembering me after a few days of not seeing yours truly? I'm disappointed Jules, I thought I'd left more of an impression. Tell me you at least remember the brilliance that is my hair." He heard Juliet laughing on the other end of the line.

"But enough about myself and my hair, which is looking great at the moment by the way", he continued, "tell me, are you getting any closer to catching the bad guy, Hanson?"

He heard Juliet letting out a sigh of approval: "A 21 Jump Street reference? Wow, Shawn, I'm impressed." She said.

"You mean you know that show?" Shawn exclaimed. "Oh Jules, every time I think you can't possibly get any more awesome you prove me wrong. And might I add that I'm not wrong very often."

It was just too easy to fall back into their familiar pattern of teasing and flirting again and even though Shawn was loving every minute of it, he wanted to know how she was really doing: "But in all seriousness Jules, how are things going? Can you come home soon?"

"Shawn, I'm sorry but you know I can't tell you anything about the case." Her voice went from sounding happy to sounding tired in less than a second.

"But Jules..."

'Look Shawn, just drop it, all I can say is that we're making progress, okay?"

But Shawn couldn't drop it and he was getting increasingly more irritated with Juliet's behavior, it was almost as if she simply didn't care how he felt and he started to get angry: "Fine Juliet, if you don't trust me enough to talk about the case, then at least tell me how you are doing."

I'm fine Shawn, really." Juliet said, yet her voice lacked any determination.

"Sure Jules, whatever you say." He said bitterly. He had hoped that his comment would at least get her talking, but it really seemed like she didn't care at all about staying in touch with him.

On the other end of the line Juliet sighed. She had just gotten back from Brandon Turner's club and she had spent the entire night hanging around two of his closest associates, hoping that way they would finally get into contact with Brandon but only when it was already 5 am, Peter and she discovered he was out of town for the night. Now it was 6 am and all she wanted to do was sleep. She didn't even know why she called Shawn at such a ridiculous time but somehow she felt she had to hear his voice before she could sleep. Just a short, sweet, fun phone call, but apparently that had been too much to ask for. Of course she knew Shawn was frustrated, being benched during this case but him being frustrated was exactly why she didn't want to tell him anything about the case. If she did, she knew he would find a way to come and mess with it and this assignment was simply too dangerous for him to be messing around with. The last time he had been way over his head in a case, it got him shot and Juliet sure as hell would make sure that didn't happen again.

She needed to protect him from this.

But of course this all was having a very serious side-effect, an angry Shawn. Still an angry Shawn was more preferable than a dead Shawn. But on moments like this, she so badly wanted to tell him that this case was much, much harder on her than she had anticipated. But most of all she needed him to say to her that everything would be okay and that he would protect her, because after all, he had the tenacity of a Swiss fox and the instincts of a dragonfly. Yet she couldn't. She felt her eyes getting watery and she vigorously tried blinking away the tears forming in the corner of her eyes.

"Please Shawn, don't do this, not now." she said pleadingly and when he remained silent she simply broke down: "Shawn please, I promise we will talk about it but just not now." She sobbed.

"Hey Jules, come on now, don't be upset, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say these things. Just...I'm worried about you okay?" Shawn said quickly, not having anticipated Juliet's emotional response.

"Please don't worry too much okay Shawn, I am really doing fine, I'm just very tired." Her voice was calmer now though the occasional sob still broke through it. "Just...would you maybe just talk to me for a while...tell me about your day?" she asked in a small voice.

"Of course I will Juliet." Shawn simply said and Juliet felt her whole body relax as she listened to him telling her about Lassiter's new hair cut, Gus' latest tv obsession and how he himself had gotten into an argument with his dad about what was the best way to slice up a pineapple. She closed her eyes, only focusing on his voice and she felt herself drifting away...

Two minutes after Shawn had begun talking about his day he noticed Juliet had fallen asleep. He immediately stopped talking and while he listened to her soft breathing he made up his mind. Tomorrow night (or actually this night since it was already morning) he would go to Brandon Turner's club and he would see for himself if Juliet was indeed doing as fine as she wanted him to believe. He was afraid he already knew the answer.

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><p>That same evening Shawn had gone to the club, determined to see Juliet but his plan had failed miserably. As soon as he had tried walking through the door he'd been stopped by two large bodyguards. It didn't matter what he said or did, he simply couldn't get in, all because his name wasn't on some list. After a very...colorful but fruitless attempt of trying to get in, (which had ended with him being chased down an alley by what to Shawn had looked like an oversized gorilla) he had to admit his defeat. A few long and frustrated nights and days had followed, in which he had tried to at least get the address of Juliet's undercover apartment but it was all useless.<p>

Now it was almost three weeks since he had last seen her and he was just feeling so damn powerless. Everytime Juliet called, he tried to get some more information out of her but it almost seemed that the longer she was undercover, the more distant she became and that frightened Shawn the most...

Shaking of the memories of the previous few weeks, he finally got dressed and he went to the kitchen to make some coffee, a habit he had developed, for obvious reasons, about 2 weeks ago. When he sat down on his couch and was about to switch on the tv he realized he couldn't spent another day doing nothing. He had to do something. Maybe he could get the Chief to tell him Juliet's address, he knew it was a long shot but he had literally ran out of ideas and this was the only one he got. Not bothering to check the weather if he should get his coat, he went outside and made his way to the station, in search of answers...

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><p><strong>AN: So as you may have noticed, I've experimented a bit with flashbacks/thoughts/change of POV this chapter. Also, I wanted to show Juliet's side of the story and I hope it's not too OOC. It would really mean a lot to me if you'd review and tell me if you liked it and what I can improve...I promise next chapter will be a bit less...experimental and (spoiler alert) it will have LASSIE. **


	6. An unexpected ally

**A/N: So sorry for the lack of updating but my exams are coming up and work (and my boss) is still being a bitch and blablabla (*insert more excuses here*)**

**Anyways, here it is, a new chapter! It feels a bit like a filler to me, but I have to put all the pieces in the correct position for the next chapter, in which it is 'going down' so to speak.**

**As always a massive, huge, enormous, ginormous thanks to everyone who reviews/favourites this story etc, you are what keep me going. Honestly. No really.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 5<strong>

It was drizzling lightly when Shawn parked his motorcycle across the street from the Santa Barbera Police Department. The rain and the low temperatures making him shiver slightly but he barely noticed, his mind fully occupied with thoughts on how to get the information he needed from the Chief. All he needed was a street or a house number even, any clue on Juliet's whereabouts would do.

Walking into the station he forced a smile when he saw McNab: "Hey Buzzie, long time no see buddy!"

"Hey Shawn, didn't expect to see you here so early, it's barely 8 am, something wrong?" Buzz asked.

"Nope, nothing wrong, everything is going absolutely splendidly. Say, you know the Chief's in by any chance?" Shawn said, too impatient to engage in his normal small talk with Buzz.

"Yeah, she came in a few minutes ago, she should be in her office."

"Thanks Buzz." Shawn said and he walked over to the Chief's office, trying very hard not to think about how this might be his only shot to discover Juliet's address. He took a deep breath and knocked on the door. 'Here we go.' he mumbled.

"What can I do you for Mr. Spencer?" the Chief asked when he came in, a hint of surprise in her voice, which probably had something to do with the fact that he rarely showed his face at the station before noon. Shawn hesitated for a few seconds, not sure how to best approach the Juliet-topic. Words didn't fail him very often but right at that moment they did, making him shift uncomfortably.

"Mr. Spencer? I don't have all day." the Chief was growing impatient with his lack of forthcoming. Shawn's head snapped upwards: - had he really been looking at the ground for that long? - "I'm, uhm, sorry Chief, it's just that my visions sometimes overwhelm even me."

The Chief began looking more interested now she knew the visit of the Station's resident psychic seemed to actually serve a purpose: "What kind of vision Mr. Spencer?"

Giving the Chief a dramatic look, he placed his right hand near his temple, closed his eyes and said: "I can see it more clearly now...I, I see Jules, she is...she is." he paused for a moment and he could sense the Chief getting more anxious. "She is...dancing!" He exclaimed, upon which he began dancing around this station, throwing his arms around in big, theatrical movements. Now he was doing his familiar psychic act he could feel himself growing more confident and he realized he was actually enjoying himself for the first time in a long, long while.

"So your vision tells you that detective o'Hara is dancing, is that all Mr. Spencer?" The Chief asked. Shawn noticed the reluctance in her voice, but continued anyway:

"Wait Chief, I'm getting more, she is dancing...in the moonlight? No, no...in the streets? No wait, she's dancing...in the dark! She's in a nightclub!"

The Chief tried to say something but Shawn quickly interrupted her: "Oh no, I'm getting some serious bad vibes...I can see there is a man with her, a very dangerous man." Shawn immediately stopped dancing and his eyes snapped open: "I think Juliet is in very serious danger."

However, the Chief didn't seem too impressed with his revelation: "Mr. Spencer, you and I both know detective o'Hara is involved in a very important undercover mission, I obviously can't give you any details, but I can assure you that o'Hara is doing fine. Now, I won't lie to you and tell you that she is 100% safe because undercover missions always come with a certain risk, something you and Mr. Guster are inclined to forget from time to time," she gave him a stern look, "but I have contact with detective o'Hara on a daily basis and what I can tell you is that she is doing fine."

Shawn's hope of getting information from the Chief vanished as quickly as it'd come and he contemplated which direction he should take from this point on. He was queasy of telling the Chief he knew about Brandon Turner, giving too many details would definitely make her suspicious and probably wouldn't do his case any good anyway. Instead he decided his best shot at getting her to help him would be to play on her motherly instincts: "Look Chief, I'll be Frank with you, though I'm still called Shawn actually, but the vibes I'm getting are very explicitly telling me that Juliet is not 'fine', and honestly Chief, aren't you a little bit worried yourself? Juliet doesn't have the cleanest track record when it comes to assignments such as these as we both have experienced on several occasions."

"Mr. Spencer, are you implying that I don't look out for my detectives?" Shawn hastily tried to interrupt her but she was having none of it: "Because, and you just have to take my word for it, I do. I am completely confident that o'Hara is the perfect person for the job. She's learned a lot from the previous undercover missions she's been on, she is young, highly motivated. No husband or boyfriend, no family she sees on a daily basis. If anyone can succesfully fulfill this assignment, it's her."

Shawn opened his mouth to say something but quickly shut it when the painful realization dawned on him that for the entire outside world Juliet indeed had no boyfriend...and if the Chief didn't know and Peter didn't know...maybe she would forget too.

Forcing the hurtful thoughts to the back of his head, he tried once again: "I am not questioning your judgment Chief, all I am saying is that if you maybe could give me Juliet's address I'd be able to scope the place out and, you know, see if my psychic senses tell me something, just to be safe."

The Chief looked at Shawn, who gave her an encouraging nod, but she'd already made up her mind: this was not a case for their resident psychic to mess with. There was too much at stake.

She gave a faint smile as a response to his nod and said: "Maybe if it were entirely up to me, I'd consider your kind offer Mr. Spencer, but this case is a whole lot bigger than just the Santa Barbera Police Department and bringing in a psychic just 'to make sure' when we're not getting any signals something is out of the ordinary seems a bit...redundant don't you agree?"

"But Chief, if I could just-"

"Mr. Spencer, enough. I am not involving you in this case, now, do you think you can find the door all by yourself or should I bring officer McNab in to help you with that?"

Shawn turned around and left the office, feeling more hopeless with every step he took.

He was already involved in the case, the Chief just didn't know why.

He walked around the station for a while, unsure what to do. The thought of going home again and mindlessly watching tv until he was tired enough to fall asleep on the couch, wasn't a very appealing one. Maybe he'd check if Gus could take the afternoon off, but then again he wasn't the best company these days.

Unconsciously he had walked over to Juliet's desk, it was empty for the most part, only a 3 hole puncher and some paperclips reminding him that at one point the most gorgeous, amazing detective had sat behind it.

Sighing loudly he looked away, only to find himself staring into the eyes of a certain head detective...

"Lassie." Shawn said, greeting the detective.

"Spencer." Carlton replied.

It was the first time in about two weeks that Lassiter'd seen Shawn in which he'd gotten himself a new haircut so naturally he was waiting for Shawn to make a quick-witted, slightly insulting remark about it but he had remained silent.

"So, uhm, what brings you to the station?" Lassiter said after a while, feeling uneasy by the lack of enthusiasm and energy the man before him was displaying.

"Oh nothing really, I was bored so I went to the Chief to see if she maybe got a case for me."

Lassiter nodded his head in agreement: "Yeah, it's been exceptional quiet the last week or so, all I've done in the last few days is arresting some punks for vandalism. And paperwork of course. Now o'Hara isn't there I have to do everything myself."

"Have you heard anything from her?" Shawn asked, trying to sound casual.

"No, haven't talked to her since three weeks ago when she out of the blue announced she was going undercover with that DEA agent. The Chief and those stuck-up DEA agents she is constantly in meetings with won't tell me anything either." There was an unmistaken hint of disgruntlement in his voice, "Why? Have you talked to her?"

"Nope, me neither." Shawn said and in a way it was true.

They were silent for a while, both staring at the empty desk before them when, without casting as much as a glance at the man next to him, Lassiter began talking, his voice uncharacteristically soft: "You know, I'm not liking this whole situation one bit. There's something off about the undercover mission, if there isn't, why would they refuse to share any information with me, head detective of the SBPD?"

Shawn listened intensely, glad he wasn't the only one unhappy with the lack of information he was receiving. Lassiter on his part was glad he finally found someone who was willing to listen: "My instincts are telling me there's something wrong and I'll make damn sure my partner doesn't end up getting hurt or worse in this whole situation ." the worry in his voice was clear and Shawn suddenly sympathized with the man standing next to him. They were both missing the most important woman in their lives, Lassiter missing his partner and Shawn missing his girlfriend. Looking at Lassiter and seeing the worried look on his face, Shawn decided to tell Lassiter about what Juliet was doing. It may very well blow up in his face, like almost every plan Shawn'd had today, but he felt he had nothing left to lose.

"You know", Shawn said, his eyes still fixed on the empty desk before him, "I may or may not have an answer to the question where Juliet is all day, or night actually. There's a certain nightclub Juliet frequently visits, called _Bad Things_"

"_Bad Things_ as in Brandon Turner's nightclub?" Judging from the disgust in Lassiter's voice he wasn't a very big fan of Brandon and his reputation either. "That would be the one." Shawn replied.

"Damn it o'Hara, what have you gotten yourself into?" Lassiter muttered, more to himself than to Shawn. "You know...", Shawn began again, intending to lay his cards on the table and hope for the best, "I may or may not on several occasions have tried to get into _Bad Things_"

He could hear Lassiter scoff. "How did that go?" Lassiter asked

"Not that well." Shawn admitted. "Apparently you have to be on some stupid list or it is virtually impossible to get in."

Lassiter began nervously tapping his fingers against his left leg before clearing his throat and saying: "Hypothetically speaking..." He hesitated.

"I'm listening."

"Hypothetically speaking I could call in some favors an arrange your name to be placed on that list. So you could hypothetically go to the club and check up on o'Hara after which you report back to me. Hypothetically speaking of course since I can't actually do such a thing since that would be against police procedure."

For the first time since they had started talking Lassiter turned his head and looked at Shawn, who stared at him for a little while before nodding his head indicating he'd had understood Lassiter:

"I could go tonight with Gus and call you the next morning...hypothetically speaking of course."

Shawn looked at Lassiter and couldn't believe his luck when he saw Lassiter nodding his head in agreement.

Just a few minutes ago it'd seemed like there was no chance whatsoever that he'd get to see her and now he would be able to this very night. The thought of finally getting to see with his own eyes how she was doing, made this whole situation seem a whole lot better already and Shawn began feeling a bit like his normal self again. He padded Lassiter on the back, thanked him and before he exited the station he couldn't help but exclaiming: "Hey Lassiter!'

"What is it Spencer?"

"Oh nothing, I just really wanted to say that I like your new haircut, could you maybe give me the name of the hedge trimmer you used Lassie-face?"

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><p>It was just after 9 am when Shawn parked his motorcycle in the garage of his apartment. Whistling softly he walked into his bedroom, kicked off his shoes and threw himself down on the bed. The last thought drifting through his exhausted mind being: <em>everything'll get better after I've seen Jules.<em>

_Don't you, forget about me, don't, don't, don't, don't you..._

What are the Simple Minds doing in my bedroom? Shawn wondered hazily before realizing it was his ringtone. More importantly, his ringtone for when Jules calls. He looked around and noticed it was already beginning to get dark again, apparently he'd slept the entire morning and afternoon. He got up from the bed and grabbed his phone: "Hey Jules!" he exclaimed

"Hey Shawn." Juliet said and Shawn noticed how much happier she sounded. "You sound a lot more cheerful than the last few times you called, how are you doing honeybunch? Are you getting more sleep?"

"Well no", Juliet said, "but things are going pretty well with the case and, now I can't.."

"Give you any details." Shawn completed the sentence, having heard it said to him a little bit too often these last few days.

"...But we're making a lot of progress." Juliet concluded.

"Do you know when you're getting to go home? Is it a matter of hours? days?" Shawn felt relieved, maybe he didn't even need to go to _Bad Things_ perhaps Juliet'd be back this time tomorrow already. Juliet's response made short work of his hope however:"Oh no Shawn, definitely not hours, I can't give you a date exactly, but if everything goes well it shouldn't take weeks either."

"Hmm...well, okay, I guess this is good news." Shawn said, trying to stay positive. "So anyway, I know you can't tell me any details about your day so I guess I have to tell you about mine then and you hate how much I hate talking about myself."

"Shawn, you once called me up at the station to give me a very lengthy description of how you spent an entire hour looking for your shirt, after which you realized you were wearing it all along", she reminded him.

"Just because you couldn't appreciate the story doesn't mean it wasn't a very funny one Jules."

"You do realize that that same story could have been told in about 60 seconds instead of 60 minutes right?"

"You just don't wanna admit that you secretly love my little stories, don't you Jules?" Shawn said teasingly.

"Maybe...though I do wanna add that those little stories aren't so little."

Shawn wanted to give a quick-witted response to that but held his tongue when he heard someone opening a door on the other end of the line. Next he could hear a male voice he immediately recognized as being Peter's: "Julie, are you ready to go or do you still need me to zip up your dress?"

"In a minute Peter, I'm on the phone." Shawn could hear her say.

"Jules? What was that all about?" Shawn asked.

"I'm sorry Shawn, I gotta go, I'll talk to you later okay?" And just before she hung up he could hear Peter say: "Here let me help you with that."

All of Shawn's happy feelings were replaced by dark jealous ones as soon as she'd hung up, his initial fear of the case making her forget all about him being replaced by a far scarier one. The fear that not the case, but a certain DEA agent who spend every waking second with her, was the reason of her reservedness, her lack of forthcoming with information, her reluctance to tell him how she was doing. It all made sense now.

More determined than ever to go to Brandon Turner's nightclub and finally learn the truth about what was going on with Juliet, he quickly dialed Gus' number.

"Hey Shawn."

"Hey buddy, how do you feel about going clubbing tonight?"

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><p><strong>AN: Angry and jealous Shawn going to one of the most notorious nightclubs in Santa Barbera... I have a bad feeling about this. Haven't completely made my mind up about how much trouble Shawn is going to gte into next chapter...maybe you could send me a review with a few suggestions and/or thoughts about this chapter?**


	7. When it's all over

**A/N:**** Bet you didn't think I'd ever update this story right? Well, that makes two of us because for a long time I thought I'd better give up on this story because, well, I am not pleased with it AT ALL. But then I remembered how I never give up and stuff so I began writing anyway. I promise I WILL finish the story. After which I shall happily resume to writing fluff and one shots and vow to NEVER EVER write a multi chapter fanfiction ****with**** plot, because, well, I kind of suck at it. **

**So, for what it's worth, here is chapter 6. I did spend quite a few hours on this chapter, mostly rewriting and deleting stuff so please don't think I'm letting myself off easy!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 6<strong> (_When it's all over..._)

It had finally stopped raining when Gus parked the car and he and Shawn got out. The location of the club wasn't hard to spot, even from half a mile away Shawn could see the big red neon lights. He quickly began walking towards it, wanted to go in as soon possible but Gus wasn't keeping up with him, since he kept looking over his shoulder to see if his car was still there.

"Would you relax already? Your car isn't going to get stolen, now can we please move a bit more quickly?" Shawn tried not to sound too impatient.

"It's a company car Shawn, of course I am worried it'll get stolen." Gus worryingly looked around once more before catching up with Shawn. As soon as he did, however, he slowed down once again and began fumbling with the top button of his blouse: "What do you think Shawn? Should I leave the top button of my blouse unbuttoned or not?"

Shawn, who hadn't thought much about his outfit and was wearing a green t-shirt and jeans, sighed.

"What Shawn? It's been a long time since we went clubbing. I just wanna make sure we fit the scene."

"Don't worry buddy, you'll fit in like Tom Cruise did in Top Gun.

Shawn's tone was soothing, he was glad Gus hadn't been suspicious of his sudden suggestion to go clubbing. He definitely didn't want his best friend to be involved in this entire mess. Although if he was honest with himself it was more because he was afraid Gus would try to stop him if he told him the real reason of his sudden urge to explore the Santa Barbera's nightlife.

Gus in the meantime was blissfully unaware of the troubled thoughts of his best friend and was just thinking about how glad he was that Shawn was finally getting out of his apartment.

Of course Gus had noticed the changes in Shawn's behaviour; he never called to tell him some crazy idea or plan anymore and taking one look at his best friend Gus could see how little sleep he was getting. He'd tried to talk to Shawn, knowing that Juliet, ,or rather her absence, was the cause of all of this, but he stubbornly refused to tell him anything, insisting he was doing fine. Gus knew he wasn't fine but after several fruitless attempt of trying to get Shawn to talk, he'd given up. Now he was just waiting for Juliet to get back from whatever the hell she was doing exactly and everything would turn back to normal again. Waiting was the only thing he could do since he didn't know how he could help Shawn if he had no idea what was going on. That is why he'd been so glad when he got a call from Shawn asking him if he wanted to go clubbing, maybe everything was turning back to normal already.

When they reached the club's entrance Shawn was relieved to see he didn't recognize either of the two bouncers standing in front of the doors. Which meant he wouldn't be recognized as the person who'd tried to get in under false pretences a good week ago. If Lassiter had kept his promise and had arranged for their names to be placed on that list, everything would go smooth for a change.

There were quite a few people waiting in line but Shawn knew from experience that you could stand there for ages and still wouldn't be allowed in, so he walked straight over to the two bouncers who immediately stopped him: "Sir, move to the end of the line please."

"I will do no such thing, my dear friend, since I have reasons to believe that my wonderful name and that of my companion is on that little paper of yours", Shawn replied playfully and nodded encouragingly when the doorman gave him a puzzled look. "Come on you slightly oversized man and just look for the names Shawn and Gus. I'm surprised you haven't heard of us to be honest, we're pretty famous."

The man looked skeptical but looked for their names on the list anyway: "Shawn Spenstar and Gus TT Showbiz?" he asked, with a confused look on his face.

"The T stand for extra talent." Gus added helpfully.

Shawn mentally gave Lassie a pet on the shoulder for putting their American Duos contestant names on the list and happily walked past the astounded bouncer.

"Wow Shawn, I don't know how you do it but you can get in anywhere!" Gus shouted, sounding impressed.

"What can I say, I am just awesome like that!" Shawn shouted back "Come on TT, let's go do some clubbing!"

And together they walked into _Bad Things_ for the very first time...

They were instantly greeted by continuous pounding music and the humid and sticky air. When Shawn's eyes had adjusted to the darkness, this first thought that crossed his mind was that it wouldn't be easy to find Jules. _There were people everywhere_. The majority of which was concentrated on the dance floor, the red spotlights occasionally illuminating their sweaty faces. Through the mass of bodies Shawn could make out the bar on his left, which was shaped in a half-circle and that too had red spotlights illuminating it.

Red seemed to be the theme of the club anyway because even the few dancers he could see through the darkness seemed to be wearing red dresses.

His attention was then drawn to a sort of balcony that was constructed partly above the dance floor, but it was too dark for him to see it properly. The entire club looked very fancy and had a very luxurious feeling to it, but at the same time it gave Shawn a feeling of uneasiness he couldn't quite explain. Judging from the way Gus next to him looked around him in amazement, he was mostly focused on the fancy part.

"Hey, you wanna get a drink?" Shawn shouted to Gus. He nodded and together they made their way through the crowd to the bar. Now he was finally here Shawn could feel himself getting nervous. He had no idea how he would even find Jules between all these people, maybe coming here had been a bad idea after all. Trying to shake off the uneasy feeling , he ordered a beer and a diet coke for Gus. (You know _I don't drink when I have to drive Shawn!_)

While waiting on his order, he looked around the club again. From the bar he had a much better view of the dance floor and the balcony, which, upon closer examination, looked like a sort of VIP room. He could see black leather couches and a sort of private mini bar. The balcony, like the entire club, was illuminated by dimmed dark-red lights. Shawn squinted his eyes and through the dancing mass of people he could now make out a pair of stairs leading to the VIP room.

He was just in the process of turning his head to the bar again to see what the barman was taking so long, when he saw her.

For 0.7 glorious seconds Shawn thought he saw Juliet appearing on the balcony, but when he blinked, she'd disappeared and he was simply staring into the darkness.

"Shawn?" He heard Gus ask and he felt a tap on his shoulder. He reluctantly turned around and took the bottle Gus was offering to him. "You okay?"

"Yeah buddy, I just thought I saw someone I used to know." He looked up again, in the hope that Juliet would magically appear again, but the balcony remained empty. Shawn had never before questioned his observation skills but now he couldn't help wondering if maybe his sleep-deprived mind was just playing tricks on him. Replaying the moment again in his head didn't give him any confirmation either, it was all blurry and hazy, which also was something that never had happened to him before. The humid air which felt stickier by the minute in combination with the constant beat of the music didn't help either.

"Shawn, Shawn!" Gus shouted

"What is it?" Shawn asked agitated by the sudden shouting of Gus into his ear.

"Look over there Shawn, it that who I think it is?"

Feeling his heart skipping a beat, Shawn looked in the direction Gus was pointing to, but he saw no one he recognized and he definitely wasn't seeing Jules. "Where am I supposed to look Gus?" His voice sounded a bit harsher than intended because of his disappointment.

"Over there Shawn, the short girl with the curly black hair. I think that's Lisa Sharp. We went to the same high school as her, she was a cheerleader, don't you remember her?"

"Dude, how many times do I have to remind you, I never had time to go watch cheerleaders on Friday because of all the awesome shows that aired on that day. I still haven't totally forgiven you for ditching me for those stupid Friday night football games by the way." He looked at Gus who apparently hadn't listened to a word he was saying, being fully occupied with staring at, whoever the hell that was.

"Maybe I should go talk to her." Gus finally said.

"Maybe you should.", Shawn gave him an encouraging nod, "You go buddy, I'll be here cheering for you!" Gus hesitated and looked at Shawn: "Are you sure? If you want me to stay with you that's okay too, I mean, we did come here together."

"Are you kidding me? Dude, she is totally into you, look at the way she is eyeing you! Come on and go, I'll be fine, honestly!"

As Gus approached the girl, Shawn quickly finished his beer and intentionally sat down on the far right end of the bar, having the best vantage point of the VIP room from down there. He ordered another beer and kept looking up, hoping for Juliet to re-appear on the balcony again. He didn't care how long he had to sat there, he wouldn't leave until he was sure it was indeed Juliet he had seen just a minute ago.

And so the waiting began...

* * *

><p><em>(30 minutes and 3 beers later<em>)

In those 30 minutes Shawn had noticed quite a few things

One, even though Gus was horrible at flirting, he was still dancing and talking with that girl and she seemed to be having a good time as well.

Two, Shawn had never before really noticed how much he liked beer

Three, drinking went a lot faster when you were doing it on your own.

He was about to take a large gulp from his fourth beer when he saw her again, making him freeze instantly.

This time there was no doubt about it that it was her, although she looked little like the Jules he'd come to know and love. Even from down where he was sitting Shawn could see how heavy the make-up was applied on her face and how her lipstick matched the colour of the surrounding lights. He saw her big golden earrings glimmer under the light and her curly blond hair dance around her shoulders.

But most of all he saw the dress.

Shawn had never seen Juliet wearing something like _that_, not even when they went out on dates together. The dress she was wearing was low cut and a flashy golden colour. The lights made the entire dress sparkle brilliantly. She also seemed much taller and Shawn realized she must be wearing high heels and when she turned around he could see her blond curls falling over her mostly uncovered back.

Apparently the reason why Juliet turned around was to say something to the now visible small group of people. Shawn counted two other woman, dressed in a similar fashion, though nowhere near as pretty, as Jules. He also counted one guy in his twenties Shawn didn't recognize and finally a guy in a ridiculous white suit wearing sunglasses. (seriously, who wears sunglasses standing in the middle of a nightclub?) whom Shawn immediately recognized as Brandon Turner.

They all proceeded to sit down, leaving one man standing. Peter. He was dressed casually-smart, with dark jeans and a grey blouse and he was confidently looking out over the dance floor. He disappeared out of sight for a little while before coming back carrying drinks which he handed out before sitting down next to Juliet. They immediately began talking animatedly and even though Shawn couldn't hear what they were saying, judging from the way Juliet kept smiling, they were having a mighty good time.

Shawn rubbed his eyes, he couldn't believe that this morning he thought everything would be better after he'd seen Jules. It had made everything worse.

He looked away, trying to focus on something, anything else but her, yet 10 seconds later he found himself staring at her again. At her dress, at her smile, at her hair, at her eyes...

Taking another sip from his beer he realized it was empty. Without taking his eyes of Juliet he waved at the barkeeper.

"You want another beer?"

Shawn finally looked away from Jules and turned to the barkeeper: "You know what, actually I'd like a whiskey...wait, make it a double one."

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><p><strong>AN:**** Trouble on the way! If you're a very sensitive soul and can't stand to even read the word blood, you may not like what the next chapter has in store for you… (how is this for teasing your audience?)**

**Could you also maybe send me a review with some encouraging words in it? Like one thing you do like about the story? Because, if I'm honest, my confidence in my writing skills has reached a new low point.**


	8. we still have to clear up

**A/N: Another update! Took me less than 10 days so woohoo. I am going on vacation next Monday and so I'm really really gonna try to finish this little story by then. If everything turns out like planned (which it never does but okay) there will be 2 more chapters after this one.**

**I really wanted to say thank you to everyone who sent a review or messaged me. It truly means more to me than I can say. I know my writing is far from perfect, but knowing you guys appreciate me trying, is all I need.**

**Oh before I forget, one last warning: this is not a happy chapter.**

**Of we go!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 7<strong> _(...we still have to clear up)_

"Shawn. Shawn. Shawn!"

After hearing Gus shouting his name three times Shawn knew he should turn around and face Gus but he just really didn't want to. So instead he kept drinking his whiskey while continuing to look at Juliet, who he found to get more beautiful by the second. He also happened to found it increasingly more difficult to form any other coherent thoughts.

"SHAWN?"

"Yes Gus, that is still my name." He finally turned around to face Gus, who was eyeing him with a worried look on his face: "Is everything okay Shawn?"  
>"Of course everything is okay buddy, why wouldn't it be?"<p>

"Uhm, I don't know, maybe because you're drinking whiskey?"

"So?"

"So, the last time I saw you drinking whiskey was after Mary's funeral."

Shawn couldn't help but flinch when he heard Gus say Mary's name. Being reminded of the few most horrible days of his life was definitely not something he needed right now.

Strangely enough, right after Mary's funeral he'd been relatively fine. He'd always been pretty good at ignoring the more...darker thoughts in his head. The question whether or not he could have prevented his death was one that, even though it was difficult, he seemed to be able to ignore.

No, the real blow the system had come a day after the funeral when he'd seen Juliet for the first time after she'd been saved by Lassiter and Gus from Mr. Yin. They'd ran into each other at the station, both having to come down to write down their accounts of the occurrences of the past few days.

The way she had stood there, wearing a grey oversized sweater, her eyes still slightly red and with deep bags under her eyes. It was something Shawn would never forget. Neither would he ever forget her brave attempt of a smile when she'd seen him and the first sentence she'd spoken to him: "I am so glad Abigail is okay."

He'd simply stared at her, astonished that even after all she'd been through, she was thinking of Abigail of all people.

Right at that moment Shawn had wanted to tell her so much. Like how deeply sorry he was, how it had all been his fault, how badly he had wanted to be the one to save her up on that clock tower. How much he regretted not being there for her. Most of all though, he had wanted to tell her exactly how much she meant to him.

But, as so often seemed to be the case when Juliet was involved, he'd messed everything up. He never said any of those things, instead he'd said: "Glad you're doing okay Jules, I can't imagine how scared you must have been, not knowing if you'd live to see the sun rise." Instantly cursing himself for saying _that_ of all the things he could say.

He looked at Juliet and for a brief moment he could see the sheer look of terror in her eyes when she was without a doubt reliving being up on that clocktower. The look had soon vanished and he'd hastily begun talking about how the fact that she was still alive was all that mattered but the agonizing look she'd given him was something that would be carved into his soul forever.

That night, unable to stop his mind from replaying those few seconds over and over again in his head, he'd opened up a long forgotten whiskey bottle in the Psych office. He'd soon found out that alcohol had the welcoming ability to slow down his mind. An ability he had eagerly made good use of before Gus found him at three o'clock in the morning, taking the whiskey bottle from his shaking hands...

Shawn tried to shake of the memory and looked at Gus, who was still looking at him worryingly and he tried to reassure him: "This isn't the same Gus, I'm telling you, I'm fine."

"Don't give me that Shawn, for almost a month you've been telling me that and I'm not buying it. Just look at yourself, maybe then you realize that you are not FINE.

Look Shawn", Gus continued in a softer voice and Shawn actually had to lean into him to hear what he said next, "I don't know what is going on exactly but I know it has something to do with Juliet and I know you're having a hard time because of it. How about we go home and talk about it? Because I hate seeing you like this."

A wave of panic instantly spread through Shawn's body. He couldn't leave, not before he confirmed his suspicions about Juliet and Peter. This might just be his only shot at figuring out the truth. "I don't wanna go Gus. I'm having a jolly good time out here tonight" and when Gus raised one eyebrow he added: "besides, we can't leave now, not now after all this time you successfully made contact with creature of the opposite sex. Speaking of which, where is Laura?"

"It's Lisa, Shawn, and she's over there." Gus pointed in a direction but everything around Shawn was getting all blurry all of the sudden. Plus, he didn't really remember what she looked like anyway.

"Buddy, don't leave that beautiful (- Shawn really hoped that was the case - ) girl standing there all alone, come on, get back there!" He tried to give Gus an encouraging pad on the shoulder, but somehow he missed, making him almost fall of his barstool, if hadn't Gus caught him.

"Okay Shawn, that's it, you clearly had enough to drink, let's go home."

"I am not leaving...-"

"Shawn.."

"I said no Gus! Now, go back to that girl and leave me alone. Or don't get back to her, whatever, it's all pointless anyway. Go home for all I care, just leave me ALONE."

Gus stood there for a few seconds, hesitating before gently placing his hand on Shawn's shoulder: "I am not leaving you here Shawn."

Even after being such a crappy friend these past three weeks, Gus still was being such a good one to him. He should have found this reassuring and comforting but instead he felt annoyed and angry. Gus and his good advice was not something he needed nor wanted right now, not tonight. "Okay, let me rephrase Gus, I don't want you here. I don't want your help, because you can't help me. Not with this. So how about you and your useless so-called wise words LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE?"

Even over the loud music people at the bar heard him and in the corner of his eye he could see them looking at him curiously. Gus on the other hand, looked to the ground before leaving, disappearing into the crowd almost at once.

Shawn took a deep breath, trying to calm down a bit but with the alcohol in his system was making that very hard. All sorts of confusing thoughts and emotions were tumbling over one another. Slowing down his thoughts with booze didn't seem to work a second time around. To make matters worse he now had also hurt about the only friend he had left. He ordered another whiskey and downed it at once. He looked up to the VIP room and from the looks of it, he hadn't been the only one to have enjoyed a few drinks. Brandon Turner seemed to be slightly intoxicated as well.

From the moment Shawn had sat down at the bar a good hour ago, he was forced to watch Brandon attempting to make a move on Juliet every 10 minutes or so. So far Juliet had been able to escape them rather gracefully but that didn't stop Brandon from trying. On the contrary, with every rejection his enthusiasm seemed to grow and every next attempt was more straightforward and blunt than the previous one.

Since Shawn had nothing else to do besides drinking he had to watch Brandon's not-so-subtle attempts for the past hour and he was getting more and more angry. No wait, angry wasn't quite the right word to describe how he was feeling, furious was more like it. He couldn't believe he was down there while this piece of scum was hitting on his girlfriend. Evidently Brandon still hadn't gotten the hints Juliet'd been dropping because when Shawn looked up again, he saw him sitting down next to Jules. And then, without any warning, he tapped her on the shoulder, she turned around and then his lips were on hers. For one terrorizing second Shawn thought he saw Juliet responding to the kiss before seeing her pushing Brandon away.

Brandon looked angry and confused she broke off the kiss but whatever Juliet said next made him smile again and he playfully brushed the tip of Juliet's noise with his finger.

At that point Shawn's blood was boiling. He supposed he should be glad Juliet didn't engage in the kiss or that he should think it was all part of the risk of going undercover. But he didn't think. Not anymore. The only thought fully occupying his mind was how badly he wanted to punch Brandon Turner. Preferably multiple times. Shawn stood up, put some money on the counter and began walking towards the stairs of the VIP room. No thoughts. Just alcohol-induced rage.

It took Shawn a lot longer to reach the bottom of the stairs than he'd anticipated, which mostly had to do with the fact that everything around him was spinning. When he did reach the stairs however, he was stopped by one of Brandon's bodyguards: "You can't go up sir, VIPs only."

Shawn tried to say something but Brandon took up all his attention when he saw him approaching Juliet again with an unmistakingly large grin on his face. Shawn couldn't watch this happen again, he just couldn't. He had to come up with a way to stop this and fast, why wouldn't his brain come up with a solution?

Three more steps until Brandon would reach Juliet, two more steps - he had to do something, anything - one more step. Juliet looked up, Brandon sat down next to her, she backed away slightly, he brought his face closer to hers...

"JULIET!"

He'd screamed her name on the top of his lungs in a desperate attempt to get their attention. It seemed to be working as they both looked up to look who was screaming.

"JULIET!"

"Sir, I need you to leave or we...-"

"JULIET!" Somehow he felt...relieved screaming her name. It was like proof she existed, that he existed and that he knew her name. Shawn tried to concentrate on Juliet but everything was getting al blurry again, he thought he saw her and Peter exchanging a look but he wasn't sure. Suddenly the room was spinning as well and he closed his eyes. He was feeling glad he'd stopped Brandon from kissing Juliet but he was also annoyed because the wall and the floor seemed to be switching places.

When he opened his eyes again Juliet was standing right in front of him. He blinked his eyes a few times, to make sure she was really there. Somewhere in the back of his head he registered Juliet saying: "I got this, thanks Mark." and the departure of the bodyguard, but it all seemed to be happening somewhere else, on another world.  
>She looked different, with her hair curly and all the make-up but her eyes were the same, she was still the same Juliet. He couldn't believe that she was standing there right in front of him and so the urge to touch her, to make sure it was all real, became overwhelming. He reached out to touch her...<p>

He had not expected her to slap him.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Ouch Jules, that really hurts." Shawn mumbled, his hand rubbing his burning cheek.

"We're so close Shawn and now you come to ruin it. You ruin everything." She spat out the words, making Shawn cringe.

"What's going on here?" Brandon said, walking down the stairs until he was next to Juliet. He put his arm around Juliet and eyed Shawn with a suspiciously

"Nothing is going on here Brandon, it's just my ex. He has trouble letting go." Juliet said, glaring angrily at Shawn. "Is that so?" Brandon grinned, pulling Juliet closer.

Shawn helplessly looked at Juliet who was smiling as well: "Yeah...it's pathetic really, the way he keeps calling me Juliet. He has this insane idea that we're like Romeo and Juliet yet I don't remember Romeo being a sorry little drunk."

They both laughed before Brandon turned his attention to Shawn again: "So _buddy_, how about you leave me and my girl Ruby alone and crawl back home. 'Kay?" He then proceeded to turn to Juliet: "How about we show your Romeo how it's done?"

Shawn watched in horror as Brandon placed his lips on hers for the second time that night. Without thinking he clenched his hand into a fist and punched the right side of Brandon's face as hard as he could.

Immediately he felt someone grabbing his shoulder and jerking him backwards, away from Brandon who had fallen to the ground. Shawn struggled to get away from the grip and the combination of the adrenaline and anger running through his entire body momentarily gave him enough strength to free himself.

He tried to reach Brandon again, who was scrambling to his feet but all of the sudden Juliet blocked his way. Shawn looked at her, her eyes still burning with anger. Without any warning he felt a kick against his right kneecap and he was on the ground.

"Get this guy the hell away from here!" He could hear Brandon shout and before he knew it a big bald guy picked him up from the ground and half-dragged him towards a black door which read _staff only_, located in a hidden corner of the room. He was then forcefully pushed against the door, causing it to open and he stumbled into a narrow, dimly-lit corridor.

"Wow man, take it easy." Shawn grunted when the guy behind him pushed him again, which made him crash into the wall. As an answer he got pushed again, the combination of the alcohol in his blood and the strength of the push making him fall to the ground.

"Seriously man, what's with all the pushing? Is that like your 'thing'? Because, if I'm honest, I'm not really digging it, so to speak. Can't imagine the ladies really like it either." His speech was slurred but it didn't look like the man was listening anyway.

When Shawn was up on his feet again the man took hold of his now painfully-throbbing shoulder and dragged him towards the end of the corridor, towards another door.

Apparently the man thought the best way of opening that door was using Shawn's head and before Shawn could fully realize what happened he was on the ground, on the street, in the pouring rain.

"Hey we're outside!" he slurred, looking around him. From the looks of it he was lying in a backstreet alley behind the nightclub and he vaguely thought that was slightly cliché.

"You remember what Brandon said?" A voice behind him asked and Shawn turned around to find himself staring at the now grinning bald guy.

"Not even remotely." He tried standing up but the guy was quick to prevent him from doing that, holding him down with his left feet.

"He said you should crawl back home. Now it's my job to make sure you do exactly that." He grinned again: "You'll wish you stayed at home."

"That's not what your mom said last night." The words were out before he realized it and he regretted saying it 2 seconds later when the man's shoe connect with his stomach. Shawn gasped for air but he didn't have any time to recover since the man pulled him up again before he hit Shawn's jaw. The impact made him stumble backwards, the back of his head colliding with the wall behind him.

"Was that really necessary?" He shouted, bringing his hand to the back of his head and groaning slightly when he felt blood dripping from his hand. Another punch hit him right on the corner of his mouth and he could taste blood in his mouth.

Even though he was feeling very dizzy he did the best he could blocking the punches that were now raining down on him. But there were too many and the rain made it impossible to see them coming.

The last thing he thought before losing consciousness was that he indeed messed everything up. Including his face.

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><p><strong>AN: So yeah not happy. You know what does make me happy? Reviews.**


	9. A rush of blood to the head

**A/N: I don't think I ever updated this quickly. Yay. Hang in there just a little while longer, just one more chapter after this one, it's almost done.**

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><p><span>Chapter 8<span>

Later Shawn would compare how he felt immediately after he had regained consciousness with how he felt when he had been shot.

Only this time it felt like he was shot pretty much everywhere. Everything hurt.

He didn't want to wake up to so much pain, especially his head felt like someone had ran a truck over it. No, he rather went back to sleep but there was this voice sounding from far, far away, urging him not to: "Come on Shawn, I need you to wake up."

"Do not want." He mumbled almost inaudibly, even the small movement of his lips sending a white hot flash of pain through his skull.

"Come on Shawn. Wake up!"

Why wouldn't the voice just let him sleep? He was fine with just remaining lying here with eyes closed. Although, now that he was getting more aware of his surroundings, he wasn't all that fine and comfortable anymore.

The surface he was lying on was hard, cold and wet which probably had something to do with the fact that it was raining.

Normally he would d want to get up from the uncomfortable position but even the smallest shift in his position caused him a great deal of pain. So instead he chose to remain lying absolutely still while contemplating whether or not to open his eyes to see to whom the voice belonged to. He concentrated on his breathing for a little while until the pain had subsided enough for him to try to tilt his head slightly. Ignoring the new wave of pain crashing through his head he opened his eyes and blinked a few times to try to get his surroundings in focus.

Gus' worried face was hovering inches above his.

"Gus?" He managed to croak out. "I thought you'd left" It...tasted weird when he spoke and somewhere in the back of his head he realized it was probably because of the blood in his mouth.

"You didn't truly believe I'd leave you there all by yourself did you?" Gus said, sounding relieved. "I only left to make a phone call. Of course when I returned you weren't sitting at the bar anymore and I could just catch a glimpse of you being dragged away by one of Brandon's men."

It took Shawn's brain a while to process the information but when it did, Shawn immediately had a hunch who Gus had called. And if he was right, this night was about to get a whole lot worse.

"Gus, who did you call?"

"Do you think you can stand up? The road is just a few...-"  
>"Gus, who did you call?" The raising of his voice made his head hurt worse but right then he didn't care. Gus was avoiding the question and that could only mean one thing.<p>

"I'm sorry Shawn, but I didn't know what else to do…"

Shawn wanted to say something but before he could do so, someone else did: "You just _had_ to get into trouble, didn't ya?"

Shawn groaned and closed his eyes, instantly recognizing the voice as his dad's. "Really Gus, my dad. Haven't I been through enough?"

"Oh no Shawn, don't you dare trying to blame Gus for this. This is your own damn fault. I couldn't believe it when I got Guster's call. How the hell could you do something so extremely stupid?"

"Dad, I...wait, what are you doing?" Shawn asked as his dad knelt down and began examining his arms. "Will you stop, that really hurts."

"I am making sure you didn't break anything before I try getting you to move and drive you to the ER." Henry said while moving his arms over Shawn's left arm. "It took me a long time to convince those DEA agents to let me drive you myself. They wanted to put you in police custody first."  
>"DEA...wait what?" Shawn mumbled confused. He tried sitting up, causing his head to protest heavily. After a few seconds the black spots before his eyes disappeared and he looked questioningly at his dad.<p>

"Yeah, they want you at the station ASAP, but let's get you to a doctor first shall we?" He stood up. "Okay, from what I can tell you didn't break anything. The rest is up for the doctor to examine but it looks like you're only superficially injured."

"It doesn't feel like it." Shawn mumbled bitterly, he tried to ask why the DEA wanted him at the station but he seemed to be having a lot of trouble even forming words so he just gave up. Henry in the meantime had turned to Gus: "Okay, let's get Shawn up and in my car. It's parked just around the corner."

"How about I just stay here? I kinda like it here, plus I don't think me getting up is the best idea right now." Shawn tried to protest but before he could fully realize what was happening, Gus and his dad both had taken one of Shawn's arms over their shoulder and helped him up.

Black spots immediately began dancing before his eyes again and the sudden lightheadedness that followed almost made his legs gave out. The pounding of his head seemed to be in synch with his heartbeat and for a few seconds that sound was all he could hear. The pounding lessened after a while and somehow they made it to his dad's pickup truck. Shawn sighed relieved when he was finally seated, resting his right cheek against the cool window.

"I'll meet you two at the hospital." Gus said while fastening Shawn's seatbelt. "I'll drive my own car, I don't want to keep it parked here all night."  
>"Wait Gus, don't leave me alone in one car with him!" Shawn exclaimed but he only got a slamming car door as an answer.<p>

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><p>The visit to the hospital was pretty non-eventful. During the drive to it Shawn tried his best to ignore his dad ranting, focusing solely on the pleasant feeling of the cold glass against his cheek. When he remained sitting like that his head hurt the least and so he quietly moaned when his dad parked the car and opened up the door.<p>

He still had trouble walking on his own though admittedly that probably had more to do with the alcohol still left in his system than anything else.

After being checked up by the doctor, he told Shawn that he 'had been lucky.' Apparently being lucky means having three stitches in your left eyebrow, 3 bruised ribs, a split lip, 5 stitches on the back of your head, a concussion and world's worst hangover. Oh and bruises pretty much everywhere.

"Of course having a concussion means you either have to stay awake for the next few hours or be woken up every hour or so when you do fall asleep. If you show any of the neurological symptoms I just mentioned, you need to get back here immediately." The doctor concluded.

"Perfect." Shawn muttered darkly.

At least Gus had brought a new shirt and sweater with him when he arrived at the hospital so that he was finally able to change into something that wasn't covered in his own blood.

"I'm glad you're okay Shawn." Gus said after a little while, when they both were the only ones left in the examination room.

Shawn shifted uncomfortably, he didn't know what to say to Gus after being such a jerk to him so he remained silent. After a little while however he cleared his throat and while looking at the ground he said: "I'm sorry I yelled at you. I've been a horrible friend to you and I swear I'll make it up to you. Whatever you say, I'll do it."

Gus smiled: "I'm going to remember that so that I can use it against you when you're feeling better. You do realize that right?"

Shawn smiled as well: "Fair enough."

Then his dad came back in again and the moment was gone.

Henry was in the middle of a phone conversation when he re-entered the room: "Yeah no I agree, this has a good chance of ending tonight. No, I understand. Yes, he'll be there in half an hour." When he had hung up Shawn looked at him questioningly: "What was that all about?"

"Nothing. Let's go Shawn, I'll drop you off at the station." Henry replied hastily.

"Wait, you were serious about that?" Shawn asked in disbelief. "It's like 2 am, I literally got beaten senseless tonight and you're telling me, what? That you're arresting me?" He was shouting now, making his headache worse but he didn't care. He couldn't believe this night was still about to get worse.

"Nobody said anything about arresting you Shawn. They just want to ask you some questions and make sure you don't get into more trouble. And since you can't go to bed anyway, why don't you make your first wise decision of the night?"

"Fine. I'll go. On one condition."  
>"Which is?"<p>

"You stop talking."

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><p>The station was unusually busy and full of people for this time of the night. Just walking into the station Shawn counted at least 14 police officers and agents from the DEA. They all looked really busy, some of them going through numerous files at once. However, the most of them were in the conference room, looking intensely at a small monitor. Shawn tried to see what was on it and for a second he thought he saw Juliet but his view was soon blocked by another DEA agent.<p>

"Mr. Spencer." He heard the Chief say and he and his dad both turned around to face her, Shawn blinking a few times against the bright lights. Everything was so bright and...loud, including the Chief's voice when she spoke again: "Mr. Spencer, glad you could join us."

"Look Karen", his dad intervened, "You know what I said on the phone right? If he shows any signs of neurological damage you need to call me right away. Just pro-"

"We already been through this on the phone, Henry." The Chief interrupted him. "I'll keep my eye on him, promise."

Henry nodded: "Call me when they release you, Shawn."

The cold and quiet interrogation room was a nice change from all the noise upstairs and Shawn let out a sigh of relief. His relief was short lived, however, when the Chief started yelling from the moment she'd closed the door behind her: "What the hell were you thinking?"

"What's with all the yelling today? How does nobody seem to understand that yelling to someone who has a concussion is pretty much equal to torture?" Shawn rubbed his eyes. He couldn't seem to catch a break this night. Or this morning, technically speaking.

"Maybe you should have thought about that before you went ahead and almost screwed up this entire operation. Not to mention you put the lives of two agents in serious jeopardy. You should consider yourself lucky I don't have your ass arrested for interfering with a police investigation."

"If you're not arresting me then why am I here?" Shawn asked tiredly, choosing not to even try to begin to explain why he did the things he did. It would be very hard to leave the part of him and Juliet dating out of it and it didn't look like the Chief was in a compassionate mood anyway.

"I conveyed with the people in charge of this operation, who wanted to arrest you, by the way, hadn't I convinced them otherwise and with the recent turn of events we thought it would be wiser to keep you in our sight at all times."

"I'm sorry Chief but I'm feeling too weak right now to use my psychic powers to grasp the meaning of your words. What turn of events are you talking about exactly?" And when the Chief didn't reply he added: "Come on, the least you could do is give me some sort of explanation why I am sitting here at 3 am in the morning."

"Well, thanks to the excellent work of O'Hara and her partner, they have a high chance of closing the deal tonight. Which means we can arrest Brandon Turner and his associates and this operation will be finished." The Chief finally said reluctantly.

Shawn couldn't believe what the Chief was saying. Why hadn't Juliet told him they were so close? They had spoken on the phone 12 hours ago and she never even so much mentioned it could all be over tonight. If he had known this in advance, he would have never gone to check up on her.

"Look Mr. Spencer", the Chief continued, her voice much softer now: "We only called you down here so that we can make absolutely sure you are not a factor in the operation anymore. I will not question you tonight on how you gained access to the nightclub or knew where to find O'Hara or why you did the things you did. There is another place and time for that. Just...wait here. When it's over I'll let you know. If you excuse me, I hopefully have a bust to attend to."

Long after the Chief had left Shawn was contemplating everything she'd told him. Now that he was sobering up he was more confused than ever. Why hadn't Juliet told him the mission was almost over? Why hadn't she wanted him to know? How did the DEA agents know he was there in the nightclub and why was he here exactly? The more he thought about it, the less sense everything made. Hopefully they'd let him go soon and he could get to bed. He'd try to figure out everything tomorrow when he was feeling better, because all this thinking wasn't doing his concussion or hangover any good.

He didn't know how long he'd sat there, it felt like hours, when he heard the door open. He looked up from the table, right into Juliet's eyes…

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><p><strong>AN: I kind of already made up my mind on how I should end this story, but now I'm in doubt. Happy ending for Shules or not? Maybe a review would convince me to end on a... happier note. (Yes, this is indeed me trying to blackmail you)**


	10. Shout

**A/N: Here it is. The last chapter. Going on holiday in literally 7 hours but between all the packing and stressing I managed to find some time to finish this little story. There are few bits I am not satisfied with and there probably are even more mistakes in this chapter than usual, but, like I said, I wanted to finish the story tonight. (Plus my beta is already asleep)**

**Thanks to everyone for reading, especially to those who were so kind to leave a review, everytime I was about to give up on this story (and there were quite a few moments I seriously considered doing that) those reviews kept me writing.**

**Okay so...did I listen to you guys and gave Shules a happy ending? Only one way to find out...**

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><p><span>Chapter 9<span>

During the past few weeks Shawn had often fantasized about what would happen the moment Juliet was done with her undercover mission. Most of those fantasies involved lots of kissing, hugging, laughing, touching and more kissing.

The reality couldn't have been further from it.

There was no laughing, no touching and there definitely was no kissing.

Instead, they just looked at each other, neither of them saying as much as one word.

Juliet wasn't wearing the golden dress anymore, he noticed, but a short black skirt together with a flimsy pink top. He wondered why she went through all that trouble of changing outfits, what she was wearing now didn't look more comfortable than the dress. But then again, he didn't seem to understand much of Juliet these days.

And yet, now that they were alone in one room, Shawn had thought that she'd at least do _something_. Shout or yell...a small part had even hoped she would simply ran over to him and kiss him, but she did absolutely nothing but standing there in the doorframe.

There was just one thing he still really needed to know now. "Is it really over?" he asked quietly and, when her eyes shot up to meet his again, he added, "The undercover mission I mean."

"Yes, it's all over."

"Good."

Another silence, this time Juliet was the one to break it: "I won't have to be back at the station until tomorrow morning, so why don't you ride along with me. I could drop you off at your apartment."

There was no warmth in her voice as she suggested it. She just asked it, seemingly indifferent and casual.

"Sure." Shawn replied, getting more and more frustrated with her lack of displaying emotions. It was like she didn't care, not even now. And maybe, he realized with a shock, it was true, maybe she honestly didn't care about their relationship anymore. After all, he still didn't know what was going on between her and Peter.

He felt himself getting angry again, he even wished she would hit him again. At least that would proof that she cared.

As he got up from the chair, he saw Juliet shivering so he pulled his blue sweater over his head and offered it to her, hoping that would trigger some sort of a response. However, she merely took it from his hands and pulled it over her head, without saying anything.

Together they walked through the station which was much less crowded now. Some of the remaining people halted Juliet to congratulate her on her bust, but she never stopped long to talk to any of them.

It was just beginning to get light outside when they walked through the doors of the main entrance of the Santa Barbera Police Department. The silence between them was driving Shawn crazy but every time he wanted to say something, anything, one cold, emotionless look from Juliet convinced him not to bother.  
>When they had reached Juliet's car and she'd opened the door from him without saying a word he couldn't take the silent treatment anymore: "Are you sure I won't mess up your perfect little life when I get into this car? Since I recall you saying I have a way of doing that" He looked at her intensely, hoping for a reaction but all he got was her saying: "Just get in the damn car, Shawn." Her tone was flat but for the first time he could also hear a hint of anger in her voice as she said his name. He hesitated one more second before getting in the car and slamming the door behind him.<p>

It had taken Juliet a lot of willpower to remain calm from the moment she had seen Shawn sitting there in the interrogation room. Because the truth was that she _was_ angry. Angry like hell.

After all she had done to keep him from getting hurt, here he still was, sitting next to her looking like someone used him as a human punching bag. She had tried so hard to keep him safe, never telling him anything about the case or how it was affecting her, afraid it might cause him to do something reckless, but it hadn't mattered.

An appearing car around the corner suddenly required all her attention and she had to hit the brakes, the seatbelts preventing them from hitting the windshield. She could hear Shawn curse silently beside her, probably because of the sudden pressure being exerted on his bruised ribs.

Juliet cursed as well, this moment only reminding her again of her failing to protect him. Something she had vowed to do, about a year ago, when Shawn had been shot.

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><p>(<em>Flashback<em>)

When she walked into the hospital room, Henry and Gus both looked up simultaneously.

"How is he?" She whispered.

"He just got out of surgery, there were no complications so it went well. It'll probably take some time before he wakes up from the anesthesia though." Henry answered, looking at Shawn with a tender look on his face Juliet had never seen before.

"You know what", Henry continued, "I think me and Guster here will get a cup of coffee from the cafeteria downstairs."

It looked like Gus wanted to protest but eventually he followed Henry and left the room.

Juliet walked over to the bed Shawn was lying in. It was so...weird to see him lying there so still, he was always so active and now here he was, completely quiet.

During their search for Shawn she hadn't allowed herself to even consider the possibility that they could already be too late to save him but now that she was all alone in the hospital room it fully hit her. He could have died.

She could have sat here, not with an unconscious Shawn lying in that bed, but with a dead Shawn. And then, without warning, right on that exact moment she realized that she loved him. She'd always liked him, from the moment he had barged into that diner and had claimed she'd stolen his seat, but she was never sure exactly what she felt for him. Now everything was crystal clear, she could not not love him, not anymore, it was just not possible.

She knew he was with Abigail, the events of today had not-so-subtly reminded her of that fact and even though he may not ever know her true feelings for him, she would do anything in her power to try to keep him from getting hurt ever again.  
>And so, while furiously trying to blink away the tears that were forming in the corner of her eye, she took hold of his hand and whispered: "I'll protect you Shawn. I always will."<p>

Then she placed a kiss on his left cheek and left the room.

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><p>Of course she hadn't been able to keep that promise. Only two months later he had nearly been killed while trying to protect her ex boyfriend. Not to mention the whole YinYang mess.  
>Every single time he got into a dangerous situation, he survived, but it felt like it was only a matter of time before he wasn't so lucky anymore and she would be sitting in a hospital room next to a dead Shawn. He just never seemed to understand in how much danger he was sometimes and the reckless behavior that followed it, scared her more than anything.<p>

They arrived at Shawn's apartment in silence. Shawn got his keys out of his left pocket and Juliet noticed his jeans still had blood spatters on them. He opened the door but hesitated before walking in, turning around to look at Juliet: "The sweater back please."

She gave it back to him and she could see how his eyes went up and down her entire body, making her shift uncomfortably.

"Goodbye...Ruby." He said and she was certain she had never before heard him say something with such a degrading tone which was the moment she just lost it.

All the anger that had been building up inside her for the last hour seemed to burst out all at once and she literally pushed him inside while yelling: "Who the hell do you think you are Shawn Spencer, that you think you can speak to me like that?"  
>Shawn stumbled backwards, hitting one of the walls of his small hallway but Juliet was too furious to care. It was as if she had unleashed all of the anger and frustration of the past month and now it was impossible to calm down again.<p>

Shawn initially was taken aback by her sudden outburst but it didn't take him long before he recovered from his shock: "Who the hell I think I am? Oh well, let me think. I am thinking I am your boyfriend. The one who had to sit through endless phone calls in which you told me absolutely NOTHING!" And, when Juliet didn't immediately reply he added: "Honestly Jules, I put the pieces together a long time ago, it's obvious you don't care about me or our relationship. I just wish you had had the decency of breaking up with me before moving on to Peter."

For a moment Juliet didn't know what to say, all the different accusations making her head spin. "Wait...what does Peter have to do with anything?"

"Oh please, it's obvious something is going on between you two. Last night when he 'zipped up your dress'? Plus, you were partners in Miami and now you spent a month living together in one apartment? I am not an idiot, Jules."

The way he said his nickname for her in such a harsh tone made her cringe but the unfairness of his words made her also angry again. "Well, clearly you are an idiot. We were living together because we were undercover, remember? Not because we're having an affair or whatever kind of thing you made up in that idiotic head of yours.

Wait a minute...is that why you went to _Bad Things_, to check up on me?"

She looked at Shawn, who was stubbornly looking at the ground.

"What the hell Shawn?" With every word her voice got louder. She couldn't believe his jealously, which was based on virtually nothing, was the reason they had gotten into this entire mess.

"I just...why Shawn? How could you possibly think that of me? Is it because you don't trust me? Is that it? WHY?"

"Because I don't understand why someone like you would ever want to be with someone like me, okay?" Shawn shouted suddenly, making all the anger in Juliet disappear instantly. As she speechlessly looked at him he continued, occasionally stumbling over his words:

"I...I...I just keep waiting for you to get sick of me and my jokes. It feels like it's bound to happen, you know. And then when you do, you'll leave me and you move on to someone better."

He didn't bear to look at Juliet, not even when he noticed her walking towards him. Then he felt Juliet's hand taking hold of his. Feeling her warm breath in his ear he could hear her whisper: "Shawn Spencer, you are the best man there is."

And then he finally dared to look at her and she smiled as his eyes met hers. Even looking into her eyes, he was still not completely reassured though: "But then...why were you so distant the past couple of weeks?"  
>"Because I wanted to protect you, Shawn. You're so often in so much more danger than you realize and I thought keeping you as far away from me and the case would keep you safe. Obviously I was wrong." She said, looking at his bruised face.<p>

"You were the one who ordered my DEA agents to tell my dad to bring me to the station."

Juliet nodded: "At least that way I knew you'd be safe."

She swallowed heavily, trying to keep away the tears that were stinging behind her eyes. It was silly for her to start crying now, now that everything was over but she couldn't help it. "I am just so terrified that one day you will end up getting killed just because you didn't look out enough."

A sob escaped from her lips and Shawn wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. He softly kissed her forehead and whispered: "I'll try to look out more then. And I promise I will not die. How could I when that would mean having to leave you?"  
>"I promise I will never leave you, Shawn Spencer, because that would mean I wouldn't be around you anymore." She muttered against his chest.<p>

He chuckled and for a while they just stood there, their bodies molded together in a tight embrace.

"Jules?" He asked after a little while.

"Yeah?"

"I love you." He simply said and he lowered his head to kiss her and for the first time in almost a month it looked like everything was finally really _fine_.

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><p><strong>AN: Originally being a fluff writer I couldn't resist this sweet, fluffy, over-the-top ending, but I felt they kind of deserved it after all the angst I still managed to cram into this chapter. So yeah. **

**Oh, also, the main goal I had this chapter was not to write Shawn and Juliet too much out of character and I really hope I achieved at least that. **

**Now I am going to sleep and pack. (maybe not in that order but we'll see) Until next time and, again, thanks for reading!**


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